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Party Pix!
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Dear Friends, What a lucky day it is today. Not just because Madonna thinks so either. It was in the cards for me to update you on this glorious month as we all as a community get together to celebrate GAY PRIDE 98. It was this time last year that I had done back to back Gay Prides in Los Angeles and then the following week to Chicago. It was on the float In Chicago as we gracefully moved down the street in front of thousands that I had an epiphany of just how I got here and what it all meant. I began to think of the forefathers and the fighting they did to pave the way for us gay men. To me, they are the true pioneers. I see myself as the second generation of Gay Liberated Men. There was the 70's men then the 80's and our third generation of Gay men here and now in the 90'S. It is a school where I began to look and start to appreciate all that was done for me to be myself. But then AIDS came and things went crazy. What I am trying to say is that we all on this and Gay Prides to come in the future need to sit back for a moment from the parties, the body's, the drugs, etc and really appreciate the moment with our freedom and friends. Tell the friends you have in your life especially if your family is still not able to accept you for who you are and say "I love you, friend." Then when that is done take a moment and give GOD thanks. Thank him in prayer for the struggles that others went through to get us here. Thank him for your health, your friends, and most of all the acceptance of how he created you. Thank him for protecting you from disease and to remember those of your friends and others whom have died. Praise him for his infinite grace to which we all are saved. I always end my prayers with thanks and never use my prayer time to only ask for things I do not have for when Gay Pride comes around I really am humbled at how much I have been given already. God only gives us things that he knows we can handle. Please get some spirituality men in your lives it has been a part of me since I was a young boy, but you can read about all of that in the GOD folder. NOW for some fun. I thought I would update you all on what was going on since my last website update. As I sit and type in another room Mike and a new friend named Tracy work on getting "Thom Chat" going as well as message boards. So I am able to update my own site without having to bug these nice guys every time I have something to say. Matt, my other dear friend who also is my web designer is on his way back from Europe after a 6 month stay. I just have to take this moment to say I love these guys and appreciate all the time and effort they have put into this monster of a website. Not to mention my neurotic behavior... Well, I am healed and healthier then I have ever been. I am not just talking about HIV either. My viral load is at 1200 and my t-cells are at 679. That was 1 month ago. I also shared with you my neck injury which was a big part of my concern's. I am here to tell you that the book "8 Weeks to Optimum health" by Dr. Andrew Weil has changed my life Emotionally, Spiritually, and Physically. As for my body that I was so worried about. ( I do appreciate all the letters from you out there in cyberspace that reassured me that you would still love me even if I was not 6 percent body fat with muscles). Well, the body is so amazing that by starting YOGA 2 months ago and becoming a devout vegetarian my body has changed drastically. I not only have a ton of energy (like I needed more) but my muscle has gotten very lean and I feel like a 18 year old with a cut swimmers build again. My how one comes full circle. Not to mention that with my bubble butt that started to go south it once again through YOGA has tightened up along with abs that I have never had even in my hay day of modeling. I am going off about this because if you think it is all about weights it is not. I have also found the freedom Madonna speaks of. It feeds your mind as well. I hope you all will look into this book I speak of and get into a YOGA class in your area. I cannot urge you if you are lacking in any of these areas. I started 6 weeks ago and today is my "Fruit Fast". Is that not ironic? You can eat as much as you want all day to give your system a break. Many vitamins and great meditation techniques. If you know me personally I have always been a "chatterbox" and moved at a very fast pace. This is giving me the tools to slow down and internalize my spirit to be happier and healthier. I would find out last night on the show 20/20 that talking constantly and never shutting up is a sign of fear from being hurt. They are walls I put up around me for subconsciously I do have a fear of getting close to people. I have not had good luck with friends. Close friends I mean. I always give a 100 percent and I admit I am not the easiest to understand or to put up with, but my heart has always been in the right place. When I make a friend I give them my heart and soul and expect them to cherish it and not crush it. Church has helped me with this. I am more trusting of people and their motives now. I guess that is why this website means so much to me. The letters I have gotten from around the world are so powerful and supportive. That I thought I would let all of you know that I do have problems and my life is far from picture perfect. People automatically assume that with my long -term survival, relationship for 15 years, raising kids, and of course the "look factor" that I have it made. Well, I don't. I am human with feelings and not just a party pecked pretty boy. I am working on my issues which are I can be selfish, manic-depressive and most of all my patience. I am proud to report that I am overcoming them a little at a time. So to all my friends out there that know me and have "put up with me" this is a public apology for all the support you gave me even when I was so unbearable that you wanted to kill me. I think the way to grow-up is to take a good look at yourself and see what you are putting into the world for eventually that is what you will get back. My family is doing really well. I made the conscious decision not to tour around this year and spend more time at home. My injury had allot to do with this decision. I am thankful to GOD for helping me turn another one of my tragedies into a triumph. The time I get to spend with my nephews and new niece are times that are so special. My companion and I are becoming more attentive parents. The kids are growing up so fast. 18, 16, and 14. David and I celebrate our 15 anniversary in august on the 22nd. I had plans to go to Fire Island again this year but I may stay home and have a party here. I am not saying good-bye to the circuit. I got more letters from Palm Springs that said I was missed. You know the party will go on and on. Being there would have been great, but I want to come back a stronger more influential gay man that can offer more to the community by other means such as spirituality, inspiration and wisdom instead of just being the HIV poster boy or some crazed drugged out drag queen. In closing pick up the bible guys. It is great reading and very uplifting. The gay thing should not scare you. We are all sinners but the words can heal the deepest of wounds. GOD LOVES US..... Some favorite scripture: We also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance.
When I became a man, I put away childish things. He who sows to his flesh will...reap corruption, but he who sows to the spirit
will...reap everlasting life. Flee also youthful lusts: but pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace.
Look up in your bibles these passages... Finally John 13:34 GO IN PEACE AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL, THOM COLLINS |
Life,
What a Drag!