Still feeling the same, a little older, a bit wiser, but much "bigger" if you know what I mean. I do have three separate series shot by Reed Massengill, John Falloco, and Jeff Palmer from 1997-1999/2000 that never went public. After my last modeling, "gig" with Gym and Burn workout magazines these photographers used a selected few for Art galleries highlighting their work. However, as I was told maybe 1-3 photos per photographer of my image were used.
The last photo shoot I did was with Reed Massengill out of New York and I was trying to tap into Steve Reeves "look" of the era. The longer hair, and goatee were all in the name of art. In addition, remembering Kelly Grider a photographer out of New York who does amazing work with human subjects by super-imposing wings from birds, which gives the photos an angel like quality that you have to see, to believe.
For the record, let me just say again, I am flattered
beyond belief to have been asked to be the cover model of this book, if
my ABS could just find there way home from whoever stole them from me
I would be on a plane tomorrow if you called. If you would like to see
the photos I described, Richard Carter my graphics designer, with whom
I assume you know, may have some of those recent photos I speak of on
CD I sent him last year or so. He did great work for me on my site, such
great talent. If he is unable too locate them and you would like to view
them I can get them copied and sent your way.
What I mean about natural state is, no buff, no fluff, or powder-puff. Just two men that went from "riches to rags" within one year a direct result of the illness and ultimately the closing of our 20-year-old healthcare business. The raising of David's three kids, who have since become adults via the Red Eye La-OK-South beach Miami, you know the type real hands on parents. Seriously though with what we had to work with and how people worked us it is amazing they are all in college to this day looking out for not just there father, but myself included as told by them. One notable difference is that instead of daddy it is Aunt Tom.
From the ridiculous to reality, Plastic to Pancreatitis, Special K to a balanced breakfast, the gym to using a cane, Steroids to Cortisone Injections for Chronic Arthritis, Dildo's to a yearly Colonoscopy, High Fashion to elastic waistbands, your best friend a Post/Party/host Transsexual to adopting a 2 week old Capuchin Monkey who is now 6 years old, going to the Opening of an Envelope to fearing the worse in ways of HIV/AIDS Government cuts, Jeffrey Sanker to Ariel Sharone, 976 to 5309, AOL Chat rooms to IRS online help. WE are trying to make ends meet living on SSDI and fighting the disease/politics/and business of AIDS on a daily basis.
We fill out more paperwork, apply for food stamps, section 8 housing, HOPWA, HAART therapies, available drug trials, and still coping with the mental abuse/shame/ and being taken advantage of by the very same family I lifted up on National Television/& in print numerous times as my support system. Only to wake up one day and have them leave us without transportation. Can you say re-possess MY CAR! If they kicked me any lower, it would have been into my grave. However, I do not own a plot to be buried in unless you see a plot in this "quasi" short story or a point for mama is on a roll.
From Circuit Party diva deluxe cover boy to Oklahoma's soup kitchens looking for a meal. I am 8 years sober, but so intoxicated from a plethora of medications non of which will prepare me for loosing David first. David is 15 years my senior, and the thought I cannot bear to imagine is my life without him. It has happened before just like in Terms of Endearment when Shirley McClain says, "Give my daughter the shot! She is in Pain, Give her the God damn shot!" Compose, release, breath and scene. All kidding aside, dish, rumor, and melodrama to be single today looking for that soul-mate and not just a bedmate, to be understood, respected, allowing you and your partner to grow not into ONE Living Beast with 2 backs, but hopefully into 2 amazing people, who are secure within themselves, honest and open when dealing with revealing and I am not talking about how big it is. I was once quoted as saying "honesty is the way to Monogamy" or was that George Michael. With a little patience in letting each other grow without being judged/blamed/or having lapsed into a coma actually thinking you have the power to change someone to fit your agenda or idea of the Perfect Husband. Then my friend you better start taking applications now cause “it ain't gonna happen not now not ever”. If this means you are in the sit, spin, hurl and twirl portion of the program by all means knock yourself out expecting nothing in return but fun filled memory's, hoping of course your memory survived the first 2 nights awake with no sleep/water/food/or condoms while on your now infamous Britney Spears Video premiere "we have to party for her" weekend that started suspiciously at 3:30pm on TRL that Wed afternoon ending a tad ripe with the smell of "S-CUM" attached to your body praying your partner will call for Carol Ann to help put you to bed and then proceed to beat the truth out of you the following morning. Not in front of Barbara from Rebook of course... If you survived that cocktail/mission weekend while reserving a place in hell thinking your beloved partner is doing what you assume he always does, which is sitting and knitting at home feeling no jealousy for you have an understanding. A word from experience I come from that place of understanding and it wasn't until my partner described to me what it was like for him bakin and beatin, or sitting and knitting all the while I was visiting friends, lets just say that was when I realized he was doing the same thing I was.
Not being on the same page with David, my partner has been tested in more ways than one, however today in good and in bad as cliché' as it sounds I wouldn't trade it for the world, but that would be a lie. I would trade it all in if I was promised to have more time learning, listening, and loving him 10'x more then I have and to set all the petty, party, pick-ups, and our HIV Positive test aside, for he has given me the ultimate strength and support by being not on the side, but beside me still and forever always.